A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Messy Middle
Lynley Jones
This is Season 2 of my Vexingly Foodish Documentation of the Baudelaire orphans, based on Lemony Snicket's research in Books 5-9, and the ill-conceived second season of the Netflix documentary.
Or re-visit Season 1: The Bland Beginning
Week the First:
A couple of couplets for coping
Week the Second:
A burrito, a poem and some advice
Week the Third:
The misuse of grammar and bananas
Week the Fourth:
Swimming upstream at Cafe Salmonella
Week the Fifth:
Fake News
Week the Sixth:
Dining in with Esme Squalor
Week the Seventh:
Try to be bubbly
WEEK THE Eighth:
Life lessons and enchiladas
WEEK THE Ninth:
Hutzpah, huevos, and hidden messages
WEEK THE TENTH:
Anagrams and alphabet soup
WEEK THE ELEVENTH:
Chicken soup at Heimlich Hospital
WEEK THE TWELfTH:
A tale of forbidden love and advanced cooking skills
If you are a parent with the good sense to question whether these are the type of books you should be foisting upon your children, you may want to read my parent-to-parent review of the book series
If for some reason you still want to read the books, you will find them here:
(When I finish weeping over this bowl of cold lime stew, I may write a review of the television series.)
Dear Reader,
By now you are probably aware that A Series of Unfortunate Events was originally a book series, dutifully written by Lemony Snicket to tell the true tale of misery endured by Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire at the hands of Count Olaf, and to clear his own name. In recent years, Snicket has begun a new, even more desperate attempt to retell the treacherous tale on Netflix, in the form of a documentary.
As a student of the history of the Baudelaires, I have assumed the grim duty of reading the entire tragic series, and watching every episode, myself. You, however, are under no such obligation. From the Bad Beginning to the bitter End, this terrible tale contains vile food and unpleasant dining companions with treacherous table manners.
I have vowed to create this series of recipes for those who prefer to spend their time eating delicious food in the company of pleasant people. You may choose to follow along if you also prefer that sort of thing.
With all due respect,
Proprietress, Adventure Kitchen
This photograph, obtained by one of my associates, shows the carefree schoolchildren who, due to a lapse in their parents' judgment, were exposed to the true culinary history of the Baudelaires in a class allegedly taught by me in 2015. The recipes and files from that original class have been collected here for those who have nothing better to do.
This week, we cope with the repetitive stress of a second Netflix season and bad cafeteria food, by writing couplets.