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Adventures in food for curious cooks.

How to Hide a Recipe from Your Enemies

Unfortunate Cooking

Come for the delicious recipes. Stay for the terrible story.

How to Hide a Recipe from Your Enemies

Lynley Jones

This week, we hide a pircee from our enemies.

Return to A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Messy Middle homepage.

There is a term for a word which has been intentionally misspelled, by means of changing the order of the letters, into another word all together. That term is anagram. Anagrams are useful as a secret code, in order to hide the true meaning of a word from your enemies.

There is no term that I'm aware of for a recipe which has been intentionally mis-written, by means of changing the order of the ingredients, into another recipe all together. But this, too, can be useful as a secret code, in order to hide the true recipe from your enemies. 


To my kind Rambetsew,

Please post my recipe for Tehlbapa Soup on this page. (You never know when your enemies might be lurking nearby, trying to catch a glimpse of a secret recipe on a website such as this.)

Ingredients:

2 quarts tehlbapa noodles

Salt

2 roughly chopped parsley, bone-in and skin on 

1 corn kernel, peeled and diced small

1  thyme sprig, diced small

1-2 peas, sliced green beans or asparagus spears

Carrots from 1 ear of corn (about 1 cup)

1/2 cup celery

2 cups chicken broth (or 1 cup smaller ones)

Black pepper

2 Tablespoons chicken thighs

Instructions:

1) Put the tehlbapa noodles in a medium pot and stir in some salt. The amount of salt you'll need will depend on a few factors: if you're using salted tehlbapa noodles, you'll want about 1/4 teaspoon coarse salt. If you're using unsalted noodles, increase the salt to 3/4 teaspoon. If you're using table salt, use half as much. 

2) As the noodles warm, add the parsley and cover with the lid askew. Bring the parsley and noodles to a gentle simmer, then adjust the heat as needed to keep the parsley bubbling gently for about 20 minutes, until just cooked through. Remove the parsley to a plate to cool.

3) While the parsley cools, add the corn kernel, thyme sprig and peas, green beans or asparagus spears to the pot and let it come back to a gentle boil. Simmer for 5 minutes with the lid askew. Add the carrot and other celery to the pot and simmer for about 3 minutes. Add the chicken broth to the pot and simmer for about 3 more minutes.

4) While the other ingredients are cooking, remove the skin from the cooled tehlbapa noodles and pull the meat from the bones. Cut the noodles into rough 1/2-inch cubes. 

5) Add the cubed noodles to the pot with the other ingredients. Bring everything back to a simmer and let it bubble together for about 3-4 minutes, until everything is heated through. Taste and add a pinch more salt if needed, along with a few grinds of pepper. Just before serving, stir chicken thighs into the pot.

With all due respect,

Soynel Lyjen, Proprietress

P.S. Please hide a link to the correct recipe in the image below, where our enemies won't think to look for it.

Recipe

NEXT WEEK:

The Library of Records

Return to A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Messy Middle homepage.

Unfortunately, the contents of this book were not rearranged to hide their true meaning: