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Adventures in food for curious cooks.

Chabo the Wolf Baby and a Very Fictional Drama

Unfortunate Cooking

Come for the delicious recipes. Stay for the terrible story.

Chabo the Wolf Baby and a Very Fictional Drama

Lynley Jones

This week, we share a traditional folk tale of forbidden love and advanced cooking skills.

Return to A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Messy Middle homepage.

Once upon a time, there was a woman who enjoyed hunting and foraging in the Finite Forest during the off season. Every morning, she would rise before the sun and set out with her bow and arrow, softly traversing the mossy soil in her moccasins, beneath the peaceful green canopy above.

Although her family still lived in nearby Paltryville, she rarely saw them. They spent their days speculating in lumber and chewing gum, squabbling over family finances and dabbling in the pastimes of the wealthy, such as omelette-making and hypnosis.

The woman had no interest in such things. Instead, she preferred to spend her days simply, hunting and gathering and using her advanced cooking skills to make bountiful and delicious meals, surrounded by the trees, fresh air and woodland creatures of the forest.

One spring morning, as she slipped stealthily through the woods, she heard a quiet growl. She turned, and found herself face-to-face with a gray wolf.

The wolf was tall, dark and handsome. He had four very sharp teeth, blue eyes, salt-and-pepper fur and pleasant facial features. He looked at the woman with a hunger she'd never seen before.

"You're not from around here, are you?" the wolf said, with a playful smile.

"What makes you think that?" the woman answered, putting a strand of hair behind her ear and trying to sound confident.

"Well, by the looks of your footwear and choice of weaponry, I'd guess you don't have much interest in chewing gum speculation or hypnosis. Not like those other Paltryvillains. There's something different about you."

The woman nervously shuffled her leather-clad feet and shifted her bow from one shoulder to the other. Could this handsome wolf somehow see into her soul, she wondered? Could it be she had finally found someone who truly understood her?

The woman made awkward small talk with the wolf for awhile, then eventually spread her picnic lunch on the blanket she had brought, and shared her lunchtime feast with him.

Over the next few months, the woman and the wolf met regularly. At first, they tried to keep their meetings a secret, quietly pretending to bump into each other by the blackberry bramble, and feigning surprise for any humans or wolves who might happen to stumble upon the pair.

But gradually, as they grew more comfortable in their relationship, they became less cautious. They could be heard laughing together with abandon, whispering their deepest secrets to each other, swapping childhood stories of life at home in their den and/or nursery. A first kiss led to many more kisses. And as spring turned to summer, and the forest burst fully into life, so did their forbidden love.

It wasn't until the leaves began to change and the first geese had begun their migration to the far side of Lake Lachrymose that they realized they'd been found out. Word had begun to spread. Ugly rumors were circulating at the country club and watering hole.

But by then it was too late. They were in love and no disapproving talk or growling could keep them apart. They eloped, and the next spring, the woman gave birth to their first child, a girl. She was covered with fur, had four very sharp teeth, and very advanced cooking skills. They named her Chabo. 

To my kind Webmaster,

I have posted the well-known legend of Chabo the Wolf Baby here, in the hopes that it might provide inspiration to those in need of a hasty disguise, as it once did for Sunny Baudelaire.

Please also post a copy of the freakishly good Tom Kha Gai recipe that Sunny used her advanced cooking skills to help Hugo prepare, in the hopes that it might provide inspiration to those in need of a delicious dinner, as it once did at Caligari Carnival.

With all due respect,

Lynley Jones, Proprietress


Final Post NEXT WEEK:

Sunny's Hot Chocolate

Return to A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Messy Middle homepage.

This book does not contain a story of forbidden love, but it does contain a story that should be forbidden: 

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