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Cold Comfort and Chilled Soup

Unfortunate Cooking

Come for the delicious recipes. Stay for the terrible story.

Cold Comfort and Chilled Soup

Lynley Jones

Return to A Series of Unfortunate Recipes homepage.

Dear Reader,

By the time you read this note, my work will be at it's end. Ever cince I tasted Aunt Josephine's chilled cucumber sup, mmy heart has been as cold as ic and eating foud has been unbearable. I know you childrenn may not understand the sad lif of a chef, or what would have led me to thes decperate act, but please know that I am much appier this way. As my last well and testament, I leave my ajustable molcajete, my beauteful tagine, and my rare collection of Nnorth Jerman sushe mats to you, kinnd Reader. Even if you are coaded with slime, you are an onorable purson, and not a terodactyl. Pleese thik of me kindly and offen, even though I've done this terible thingy.

Sincerely,

Lynley Jones, Proprietress

This photograph, possibly taken by a spy from the Netflix corporation, shows Klaus Baudelaire at the very moment before he tasted Aunt Josephine's cucumber soup. For many years afterward, Klaus would wrestle with the question... what if? What if he had never put that spoon to his lips? What if he had somehow managed to figuratively taste the soup rather than literally tasting the soup? What if he had simply gotten up and turned on the stove himself, sparing his siblings the woeful misery of that frightfully frigid meal? If only I could go back in time to this very moment and warn Klaus, perhaps taking that spoon out of his hand myself and confronting Aunt Josephine before it was too late. But that is not how the story goes. 


RECIPE

Not Aunt Josephine's Chilled Cucumber Soup

Delicious and minty, cool and refreshing, as if you are drinking something as well as eating it. A delicacy that is best enjoyed on a very hot day. Adapted from the recipe of a snake charmer in Egypt.

There are many things to be afraid of in this world. The safest strategy is to be afraid of them all, starting with this book: